One of the ways I’ve worked on Get Happy! is to volunteer my time with Hands On Greater Portland. In my opinion, finding rewards that are non-monetary is a big component of finding the Happy! in life. Here is a great example:

I helped paint an elementary school a couple of weeks ago. Two hours of my life, one ruined pair of jeans, and in the end I was fully satisfied with knowing I’d helped make so many kids’ days literally brighter by covering dingy walls with fresh white glossiness. I didn’t need anything else.

Then this came in the mail yesterday:

This simple construction paper card proves that investing in someone else’s Happy! only helps to elevate your own. And right now, I’m overwhelmed with it.

I keep trying to send everyone I know to a therapist. Guess it’s the giving mentality I have at this time of year: “Merry Christmas! Here’s a gift debit card and the name of a great counselor. No, no, I’m not saying you need to go–I’m just saying that you might like it…”

So, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Not everyone. In fact, that’s just a scenario I keep playing out in my head. But, I just might do it! I’ve got people pegged. It could be you. Don’t be afraid. And don’t avoid me because you’re dreading a potentially awkward moment. Dodging the inevitable takes a lot of extra energy.

I’m kidding. It’s not my place to lasso people with the rope of righteous advocacy. Still, it’s fun to think that I might be able to help someone. See, what I’m getting at is this: Though the myth that the holidays drive people over the proverbial edge has long been debunked, I’m taking the opportunity to shout out a New Year’s Resolution for all:

Get Happy!

Find yourself often complaining on Twitter, your blog, in emails or while talking on the telephone? Notice that your friends are teasing you for being a nay-sayer or kill-joy? Talking yourself out of going places because you’re pretty sure you’ll have a bad time? Finding it difficult to get motivated to do daily tasks or commit to things? Feeling aimless, dispassionate, or excessively tired?

You’re not alone. And you don’t have to feel crappy forever, you know.

Resolve to Get Happy. For yourself and for your loved ones. But mostly for yourself. Go see that therapist or just tell someone that you need their support. We’re all here on this planet together to help one another find positive outcomes in life, so give someone the gift of confidence and they’ll reciprocate with the gift of support.

Make it a truly Happy New Year. Don’t be scared. Just reach out. Make that Resolution.

Jump…

Reach for…

Happy…

So, I’m going to put a lid on the politics for awhile. Obama is going to be President, and McCain/Palin will just fade into the night. Only part of that last statement is true, unfortunately, as demonstrated by every news show airing this morning. But, I’m not going there, people!

At the risk of inciting controversy, I’m going to shift to a subject about which I feel fiery passion:

Sharing Information Responsibly

A story to illustrate my point, with certain details omitted for obvious reasons:

Yesterday, a contact on a social networking website posted this bulletin:

I was watching on the news and they were saying how many votes from Hispanics, my question is how many of these hispanics are true to form US citizens? You are supposed to a US citizen by birth to vote.
I know there will be no one to check into it but I think we need to know just how many votes are legit!

As a person of Hispanic heritage, and someone who is so proud of the election turn-out, I was offended. First of all, being Hispanic does not automatically mean that a person entered this country illegally. Second of all, being born into citizenship is not the only way to become a bona fide American; an application process grants citizenship and along with it the right to vote. Third of all, the votes are authenticated through the voter registration process, for which each state is responsible. Finally (and most importantly), by asking this question of her entire social network, in a one-sided bulletin that does not allow for comments or any other forms of public feedback, she unintentionally (we hope) planted a seed of fear, doubt, and racism. There are appropriate forums for such questions. She chose the wrong one.

Now, I’m not here to bash people or upset any of you kind readers. Just so you know, I have written to and informed her of my concerns. The reason why I told this story was to illustrate my point that conversation is the way of the future the now. Declarations are dead. If you say something, you better be prepared to back it up, because people are either going to call you out on it or stop listening to you/reading what you have to say if you don’t welcome their participation. So many people are unwittingly committing the social crime of spreading misinformation, and it pains me to say that the person I quote in this entry is one of millions who do not understand the harm they are doing.

So, how do you avoid alienating–even hurting–readers/listeners and make yourself heard? Well, here’s my advice:

#1 – Make sure it’s the truth. If you can’t authenticate, don’t propagate!

#2 – Think about the impact of your words. How will they make people feel?

#3 – Don’t read the headlines and assume you know the whole story.

#4 – Embellishment makes for great storytelling. That’s all it’s good for.

#5 – Count on others to keep you honest. Sharing is not a solitary activity.

Did I miss something? Please comment and add to the discussion. I welcome all feedback!

Updated November 6th, 2008 at 12:38pm PST: She removed the bulletin and responded to my direct message. Ideally she would have posted an updated version of her question with people’s responses attached, but I guess this will have to do. Remember folks: Open, honest communication will always prevail!

Pawly is in Heaven. She passed away in her sleep while receiving treatment for pancreatitis; of an aneurysm resulting from a failing heart. The two conditions were unrelated, and her death was a pretty big shock to all of us.

Or was it? I believe strongly that a pet will choose their time to die. Pawly was not in the best of health this past year, but her sense of duty to my family kept her moving despite her failing hind legs, breathing despite the endless panting. But even though she seemed to be feeling poorly, Pawly wasn’t ready to leave my family yet.

She had to see them pass into a new chapter of their lives. She wanted to know that they could be happy without her. But first, she had to see the countryside her family called home before she came along. And Pawly loved it! She got to run through fields of sage brush, smell the fresh air of two mountain ranges, see her first cows and horses and llamas… Through those experiences, Pawly became revitalized. And she learned how to have fun again because she could sense our happiness.

So in the days running up to her death, Pawly took car rides willingly and climbed and sniffed up and down rocky hillsides. She even went without her pain medicine for two weeks; before the move across the country she needed two doses a day to fight the inflammation in her hips. She lost 15 lbs, quit panting almost entirely, and her raw, cracked nose completely healed to its youthful softness.

But Pawly’s time with my family was drawing to a close. Suddenly she became violently ill and had to be taken to the doctor. Amazingly, she was calm through the examination and even seemed to like the young man who was treating her. Pawly used to lose her mind when taken to the veterinarian in South Carolina. Maybe all that traveling had made her a more worldly and emotionally resilient dog. Or maybe she was relieved that Mom wouldn’t have to see her suffer–see her die.

In the wee hours of the morning of November 1st, Pawly said goodbye to my family and this world. She spent 12 years being Mom’s Shadow, Dad’s garage guardian, Latice’s ‘Poo, and my living toy. We will talk about her for the rest of our lives, because she was more than a dog for us. She was, and will forever be, our furry heart.

What was Pawly to you? Write a comment to share your favorite Pawly story.

November is Give Yourself to Give Thanks Month. Declared by me.

I highly encourage all of you to consider volunteering for something; it’s a whole lot easier than you think.

Here’s an example of a way to get your foot in the door:

• Hands on Greater Portland (they have a calendar of events, and great variety of opportunities)

Maybe there’s a Hand’s On in your area?

I have put up a ton of new pictures. Lately they’re my thing. Pictures and video. My things.

Life can change, for good or ill, very suddenly; a concept that we forget about in our day-to-day hum drum world of routines and jobs and deadlines and appointments. We track our schedules on calendars and make lists of to-dos, all for the sake of slicing our lives into stress-free, bite-sized morsels that are easy to pick up, chew and digest. It’s all about maintaining control; it’s all about looking (and feeling) like we’ve got our shit together. “Why can’t it be simple?” we ask ourselves. So we file our papers, pay our bills on time, and make an extra effort to keep the laundry caught up. But? We’re subconsciously waiting for and dreading the inevitable implosion brought upon by chance and good old fashioned human nature. Agent Smith said that we can’t survive in a world in which predictability and satisfaction are the prevailing conditions of existence. I don’t know what logic that fictional badass was basing his assertion upon, but if he’s right then we’re all devoting a lot of time and energy to the pursuit of denying our essential need (desire?) for chaos.

I can see why we work so hard to postpone the inevitable: Change is tough. In many cases it is downright painful. Depending upon our capacity for coping, we create a personal barrier of a thickness that is directly proportional to our fear of being out of control. But it’s not infallible, and unless you’re God you can’t create an all-encompassing forcefield that will defend against every attack. And why should we? The trials and tribulations of life, though impossible to forsee, are the hammer strokes that shape our personalities, adding value to our individual experiences on Earth.

An important truth I have learned: Regret robs you of the present moment. Sure, quitting my job and enrolling in beauty school was probably a bad idea. It was irresponsible and not thought through very well. But! I can sit and type this with confidence and even joy: I am a better person because I screwed up. Taking a chance, giving myself permission to lose control, caused a chain reaction that is still playing itself out. I realized that the business of beauty is actually not for me and I Freaked! Out! All of my preparation and planning and organizing had betrayed me. Now, I could go on and on about how I’m a new and better Nyco, but I won’t. The point is, I didn’t enroll in beauty school because I wanted to catalyze a life-altering epiphany. Oh, hammer of life, how you swing…

We can go ahead and make a rough sketch of what our days, weeks, months, years should look like. We can save money in various accounts that accrue interest and buy IRAs to prevent our grubby little hands from whittling our cash away. We can decide to have kids by a certain age and eat all the right things to influence our everlasting health. We should keep doing all of those things because they’re a good idea. But, on our way to the bank we should take a left when we should have made a right, trusting that we’ll make our way around to it eventually. Lay out on the anvil and take a hit or two once in awhile. And never forget the camera. No matter how hard we try, we just never know when we’ll wish we had it.